As part of this series it’s important to realize why men and women act, react and communicate just a little bit differently. It’s not that we want different things; many times we want the exact same thing we just want it different ways.
Psychologists have identified approximately one hundred structural differences between male and female brains.
“Men, because we tend to compartmentalize our communication into a smaller part of the brain, we tend to be better at getting right to the issue. The more female brain (will) gather a lot of material, gather a lot of information, feel a lot, hear a lot, and sense a lot.” – Michael Gurian, psychologist and author of “What Could He Be Thinking?”
Be aware that people sometimes have a misconception about the opposite sex because of a negative experience they have had prior to your encounter.
For example: a nasty divorce, cheating boyfriend, lying girlfriend, abusive or negligent parents, bad experiences with friends, relatives, co-workers or business relationships that dealt with the opposite sex.
We, especially in sales, have to be consciously aware that who we are working with now does not necessarily represent what we have experienced in the past.
Men speak to report facts in short phrases with little or no details, whereas women speak in paragraphs to build rapport with lots of details. Men want and need the “bottom line” first and foremost, followed up with more details now that their need for the bottom line has been met. Women want and need to build up to the bottom line, as their enjoyment comes from telling the story. The enjoyment women find in the telling of the story leading up to the bottom line often becomes very frustrating for men, which often leads to disagreements. To communicate effectively with those of the opposite sex, it is necessary to change your approach, by women fulfilling the man’s need for the bottom line first and men fulfilling the woman’s need by giving more details.
Bridging the communication gap between men and women goes far beyond the obvious. On average, women use 25,500 words in a day while men use about 12,500 in a day. A man using 12,495 words during an average work day comes home with only five words left, “What’s for dinner?” (that’s three!) and “Good Night” (that‘s five!). On average, women maintain eye contact while speaking for twelve seconds vs. a man maintaining eye contact for three seconds. Change your approach by balancing the needed eye contact and number of words spoken, and you will find disagreements and hurt feelings will be exponentially minimized.
–Communication Differences Between Men and Women